How do I stop feeling hopeless?

Dear Vaibhav,

1. How do I find the energy and motivation to stick to things and do them regularly? 

2. How do I find a space where I am more authentic to who I am?

3. How do I stop feeling hopeless?

Dear Chandini,

The answer to all 3 of your questions is the same one.
When we investigate the true nature of this “I” that we take for granted, we find that it is the perfect representation of the Divine Essence. But when we have identified with our ego’s stories we lose this innate knowing and begin to believe the ego’s negativity. But why is the ego generating these feelings of hopelessness, negativity and inauthenticity? Let us work together to understand and stop believing the ego’s stories.

We find ourselves without motivation and hope because we are living an inauthentic life. Our beliefs about who we are and what our purpose on this planet is not aligned with the Truth of our higher nature.

The path of spirituality is the path of reclaiming our true nature.

You seem to have intuitively understood this and hence find yourself in this space, asking questions about how to find your way home. This is a great beginning. Congratulations. If persevered with, this initiative will take you home to your authentic self over time. While your authentic self is ever present and has guided you here, some amount of time is required to remove the wrong ideas that are covering your authentic self.

But you should be proud of yourself for taking the initiative to reach out and make a change. This is a big deal… a step the vast majority will never take. It needs courage and the self belief that change is possible and that there is a way out. Do you see yourself as this person who wants to change and improve? Someone who is willing to invest time and energy in herself? Someone who will not give up until she finds her true place in this world?

You should, because that’s how I see you. As a fighter willing to fight for her own freedom and authenticity.
I urge you to see yourself as I see you. You will immediately understand who you are. In an instant, the hopeless, unmotivated and inauthentic Chandni will be replaced by a spiritual fighter…. a pure soul on her way home. Once you begin to see yourself as a fighter you will no longer need someone else to boost your morale or to help you find a meaningful life. It will come to you naturally…. because that is who you are! Your soul nature will bring you your true nature. In the instant that you see this, YOU ARE FREE!

However, the past will keep pulling you back. And so we need to take some steps to fortify our true self and let the past negativity go. How do we do that?

Removing the Negative

Firstly, start by making a list of things that make you feel weak and unmotivated. Is it too much screen time? Is it lack of exercise? Poor eating habits? Being a pushover at work or in the house? Be very specific and list them out. Once you have this list write 3 things against each one that you can do to make a change. Don’t try and make big changes but small incremental changes against each one is fine. Now select  2 or 3 action items and start to incorporate them into your life. When these changes have become a habit, then add another 2 or 3 items to your routine and so on.

Adding to the Positive

Here are 3 things that will have an almost immediate effect on how you feel about yourself;

  1. Start a gratitude journal – Every morning and night write 3 things that you are grateful for. Let it be simple things that we dont usually notice. Things like a nice meal or a good conversation etc
  2. Start a yoga or exercise routine
  3. Follow a box breathing practice twice a day (youtube)

You can start the above three or any other 3 positive practices that you find useful. It could be something as simple as 10 minutes of silent meditation first thing in the morning and last thing at night. No devices, nothing else but you and your soul…. getting to know each other. (I highly recommend this if you don’t already do it)
Please continue to do this practice in conjunction with the above recommendations.


This meditation is designed to help you find your True Self and also the stories that are making you feel disempowered and weak. Practice this twice daily or as often as possible with a sitting time of 20 to 30 minutes

Please sit up straight in a chair or crosslegged. Do not lie down.

Feel the presence of your body and the sensations of the body being here. Gently bring the attention to the breath and ground yourself in the in and out movement of the breath in your belly for a few moments.
After you have enter into a state of some calm and presence, introduce this question to your mind…. What is my true nature? What is keeping me from my higher purpose?

Once you have introduced the question, let it go and go back to your breath. Simply acknowledge all the thoughts and stories that your mind comes up with. It may be related to your question or not. It doesnt matter. Simply come back to the breath. Do not listen to the minds stories about your purpose. Our purpose is unveiled to us naturally and not through the minds stories and thoughts. Simply note these thoughts and stories and go back to breathing.
Finish your meditation with a small sankalpa to embody your true self.

Once the meditation is done write down any important things you noticed during the meditation in a journal. Make a rough note of how much time you were paying attention to the breath versus how much time you were lost in thought. Notice if this is changing.

This will not be easy for the first 2 or 3 months. But you will get better at it and will start seeing tremendous results very soon.
This simple practice will not only make you more aware of the bullshit stories that your mind is telling you about how weak or bad you are, it will also help you to build a lot of wisdom and insight into your own true nature.
It will also help you see that all those negative feelings are not true. That you have the choice of ignoring them.

I am happy to provide more guidance if needed at a later point if necessary. But I do need you to put in the practice.

You are supported by the Divine. In fact you are its very embodiment. All that these practices  are doing is to remind you of this simple fact. The more often we remember this fact, the less time we have for the egos lies. When we truly understand our Divine Nature, all these issues fall away naturally. We are simply not interested in these silly ideas about ourselves.

You are being carried along by the Divine. And this support also comes from the source. Be sure of this.